What is Best in Life?

This is my two-weeks notice letter to my boss at the Steel Mill where I work. I was hired to work as a Paramedic by a security company, so we worked hand in hand with the security guards, but as time went on, it seemed that they really wanted me to be more of a security guard than a paramedic.
The problem with that is that I am not a security guard, paramedics are kind of the opposite of security guards. The last thing in the whole world I want to do is hassle people. I like that when I show up, people are usually glad I'm there. You don't usually hear people say "oh no, here come the paramedics."
So as my disdain grew and grew, my ability to take the job seriously shrank and shrank. That's how you end up with this as my resignation letter.

It reads:
Dear Madame;

It has been the greatest honor of my life to serve with you on the battlefield of blankity blank Steel Mills. When I find that I can no longer muster the enthusiasm to go charging into battle with the gusto I once had, I realize that I am weary and the day of reckoning is upon me. Unfortunately, the time comes when every soldier has to hang up his sword and turn the fight over to the warriors of a new generation.

In order to preserve the standards I have set and expect from my kinsmen at Blank Security company, it is my sad duty to inform you that as of January 1st, 2010 I will no longer be available to slay the proverbial dragons and rescue the damsels in distress of our day.

I thank the stars above for the opportunities my position here afforded me and I thank you for your hospitality in these last months. In my last days, I have chosen the path of a humble servant over that of a conqueror so that my transition from power may go as unnoticed as possible. I will wait out the days tending to our menial tasks with quiet determination as if nothing will ever change. I assure you that when I am gone, in my heart I will long for the days of riding my gallant steed through the majesty of sweat, steel and heat that was home at Blankity Blank Steel Mills.

There can be only one,

Blankity Psydewayz Blank