4 Weeks Progress

Here are the pictures from last Friday. They don't show a whole lot of difference to me, but I know that my clothes fit better, and that I've lost about eleven pounds. They say the biggest changes take place after the first month, so I'm looking forward to that.

Reading from the Good Book

Today just to get myself motivated I started reading my Body for Life book again. It's amazing how inspirational some of the stories are, even though I've already read them at least ten times already. I also find myself thinking about the people in my life, and how I think some of those stories would really speak to them. I've learned by now that people need to find the will on their own to really make a change, and I am hoping that by accepting and ultimately completing this challenge that I will be able to lead by example. Once I have completed this first challenge, I am going to really start "preaching the gospel," to some of the people I care about that I think could really benefit from the Body for Life program.
I have four week pictures that I was going to upload today, but the batteries in my camera are dead, and so I have to charge them up. They should be posted tomorrow.

Back In Action

I had a great birthday. I ended up taking basically two days off from training and dieting, and I could totally feel it today when I was running. It felt like I started over from scratch. Like my body was saying "Whew, I'm glad we're done with all that exercising nonsense, back to slug land," and then I just shocked it back to life by running my balls off on the treadmill.

I got a new tattoo for my birthday. And I was looking at some of the pictures of me while I was getting it. Some of them were actually kind of encouraging but the ones of me with my shirt off definitely showed me that I have a lot of work left to do. My abdominal section is still flabby as all get out, but my arms have definitely showed improvement. Hopefully the tattoo will give me another good reason to hit the gym hard.

Adventures
I made a pledge to myself that while I was going to get through the 12 weeks of Body for Life, I wasn't going to let it totally dominate my time and ruin my summer. I knew I was going to have to be careful and plan my diet around some of the activities I wanted to do. I have had a really eventful and fun summer so far, even with all my responsibilities.

Blatant Overuse of Commas

Obligatory Plug for Body for Life website
There are some new videos of last year's champions on the website. I watched them and found them to be really motivating. They show Porter Freeman surprising the winners at their houses, and then has short interviews with the champions about Body for Life and their winning philosophies. Ok, I'm quitting now, I sound like a disciple.

Personal
I have this Anatomy and Physiology class that I am trying to get through this summer that is totally killing me. I'd been out of school for years, and it never really bothered me to work during the summer, but for some reason its torturous to study and go to class when it's gorgeous outside. Also since summer term is a little light on schedule options, I have two 4-hour sessions a week. My brain reaches maximum threshold about an hour into every class, and then I just have to endure the next three hours as valuable knowledge just goes floating in and out of my head.
The thing is I have to pass this class. I worked my ass off to get into the Paramedic program in the Fall, and this class is a prerequisite to be allowed into the program.I am having a hard time not settling for the minimum standard. I have been getting awesome grades all year, and I don't want to start settling for C's now. I am going to get through this, I am just really struggling. I keep reminding myself to apply the mental toughness I've learned over the last two years towards "nutting-up and getting it done." That's what it takes, and that attitude is what will get me through the next eleven weeks.

Fitness
So yesterday, I went out with my super awesome sister and ate a ton of sushi for lunch. And later for dinner I had a massive cheeseburger from Carl's Jr. which I could barely choke down. Then I went over to my buddy's house to watch the fights with my brother in law and probably drank four beers. So yes, I took full advantage of my free day.
It's always so hard not to let that become a trend. But I've done a good job today. It's five o'clock, I got my 20-min HITT training in and I've had four good, clean meals. My medic is making dinner tonight, but after a bunch of back and forth about the stipulations of the program it looks like I am going to have a good dinner of chicken, brown rice, and broccoli. And then later tonight I will have a protein shake.

More Personal
I focus a lot of energy into making myself not miss my family, but living at the firehouse sometimes punishes me with imagery and ideas about what my life was and could be like. Tonight my medic's family came in to make us all dinner and hang out. He has two little boys and a girl, and I thought it was so cool for them to come down and spend some time with him and the rest of us. It really made my evening. But it also made me a little sentimental.

Committing Carbicide: My First Free Day

Almost anyone could make a strong argument that there is nothing good about Budlight Lime in a can, but good lord, these things go down easy. In case it wasn't obvious, I am taking full advantage of my free day on the program. The crazy thing is that even after a short time of having six small meals a day, I get full so quickly and feel full for so long. It seems like my body is trying to keep me from destroying it with too much fast food and beer. Stupid body.

I went and saw the movie Bruno with my sister and her husband. I am pretty sure I knew what I was getting into, but my god, that was an assault on the senses. I forgot how hard it is for me to watch people get embarrassed, and it's even worse when they're not embarrassed when they should be. I realized pretty early on, that I was way too sober to fully appreciate this one, and spent most of the time curled up in my seat cringing.

Tonight I am happy to clear my head of all that crude humor with a bit of good old fashioned violence. I am going to one of my old friend's house to watch UFC100. I am totally stoked about it.

Tomorrow I am back on the program and I am looking forward to planning out my week's meals, and cleaning all this crud out of my system.

Day 5, Boring title for a boring post

Fitness

Today I did well with my meals. Even though I am struggling to keep an average of 33 grams of protein per meal (it's suggested that you get 1 gram of protein for every pound of body weight, and 200 grams is actually less than I would need to meet that)

I decided to do my leg workout here at the firestation. We have a measly gym here, but I figured I could make due. I think I got a good workout in, but it's been about six hours and my back is really stiff and sore, so I'm hoping that's just a product of the workout.

I am really jonsing for some fast food. I think it's because I've been kinda bored this evening. Tomorrow is my free day, so at least I have that to look forward to!

Shoot for the Ceiling

Rant

To all the dudes in the gym wearing hats: you look ridiculous. I realize that backwards baseball hat really completes your outfit and all, the t-shirt with the sleeves cut off and matching basketball shoes. You are in a gym, you should not be worried about coordinating your outfit, much less bloody accessorizing! I would also tell these same guys to stop spending so much damn time staring at themselves (and oddly, each-other) in the mirror, but then they would just use that extra time for their other favorite activity: blatantly leering at the women who are brave enough to come into the free-weights section. I am embarrassed for all men, because of these guys, and I feel sorry for all women, especially the ones that date these guys.

Personal

One of the only good things that has come from being single again is that I am able to remain relatively drama free. After everything I've been through, I am so sensitive to even the slightest inkling of craziness, it can be a little crippling. When my friends start talking about their own personal romantic melodrama, I catch myself instinctively withdrawing and shutting down. I've already hurt some feelings because reactions like "You need a girlfriend, please stop talking to me about this!" I think my desire to live peacefully is healthy, but lately I've been protecting myself in some unhealthy ways.

Along those same lines. One of the aspects of this whole Body for Life thing that I haven't talked about, is dating. When I was coming to the decision to begin the challenge, I was really struggling with loneliness. I realized that if I didn't make some positive decisions, I would probably end up dealing with those feelings in a negative way. The last thing I need is some kind of romantic disaster. I'd probably do something I'd regret, and probably hurt somebody else. So as part of these twelve weeks, I am going to focus on being comfortable single. Since I'm not even officially divorced yet, that's probably a given, but sometimes it's hard for me to even accept that I really am on my own. I think taking this time to face that reality and get comfortable is another thing I can do to affect the rest of my life positively.

Fitness

Had a good day. I didn't get enough sleep (it is highly recommended by pretty much everyone in fitness that you should get at least eight hours) but I did get all my meals in. Tonight was my night to cook for my shift. So I made them the Southwest Turkey Tacos from the Eating for Life cookbook. They're one of my favorite meals. Everyone was really impressed by how good they were, even after I told them that they were good for them. There is some interest amongst my fellow crew members about the Body for Life system. So I am trying to foster that. It would be good to have more people holding me accountable.

...I Gotta Wear Shades

Personal

Today I took my niece and nephew out for coffee, which pretty much made my whole day. They give me faith in our future, they're amazing. They've both been through a lot, and I hope that karma or whatever pays them back for their positive attitudes and willingness to forgive the people that harm them. They're sure a hell of a lot more emotionally mature than I was -- am.

Fitness

Had a great day fitness wise. Had to cram a few quick meals in there to get my six, but I did it. The going out to coffee thing is part of another promise I've made to myself for this cycle on BFL, basically that I wasn't going to let it take away my life. The first time I really did this, about a year ago, I sequestered myself from the world, I was so afraid to mess up my schedule or cheat. I didn't take any chances. I actually did really well under that philosophy, but it wasn't very fulfilling. I decided that this time, that I would plan, and prepare, and find a way to do things that make me feel like I still have a life.

I had to hit the gym after my god-awful night A&P class, which means that I didn't get home until almost midnight, but I am proud that I could modify my schedule, and still stick to the program.

More Personal

Today I had a conversation with another friend of mine, and she was telling me about some issue she had. We were going back and forth talking about it, until I realized that we were arguing. She started off just venting about issues totally unrelated to me, and somehow I found a way to turn it into an argument. I realized that this is part of a larger personality flaw of mine, that I always need to "prove a point." It's one of the things that made me impossible to live with, and it's something that I definitely need to change.

EMT Class - More nudity than I expected

I am really enjoying my EMT class. From the very first day -- actually from the very second day, after the cop dropped the class, I've really felt like this is going to be a great bunch of people to work with. We're kind of forced together, because we're all in uniform already and we do a lot of "team building" stuff together.
So far, I don't think I've made any enemies, which is good considering my penchant for making friends and enemies at equal and alarming rates. At least no obvious enemies, which is even scarier because that means that they're stealthy enemies, and I'm not equipped to deal with that kind of thing.
Thursday in lab was "Playing with Stethoscopes Day" which was cool. We had to break up the class into two groups, so my group went off to go learn how to take blood pressure, and after awhile we were going to switch with the other group. In between the switch we had a break, where a couple of my friends from the other group came to me, and said "Whatever she asks: volunteer. Don't worry about what it is, just volunteer." Luckily my buddy came to me and said "So are you going to take off your shirt?"
Basically for the next class, they needed someone to get up in front of the class and take off their shirt so they could show where we're supposed to listen to lung sounds, my little buddy there had been the unfortunate soul who got up there, and was nice enough to warn me. When we got into class, the instructor called for a volunteer, and simultaneously three girls in my class point at me and say my name.
So now I'm sitting there, and I've been called out. I went, "I don't think any of us want this to happen," but I had to do it. So I had to take off my shirt and get up in front of the class.

This sort of thing is definitely motivation for me to get my diet AND my gym routine back on track. So it looks like I'm going to start BFL again hardcore, because if I'm going to be getting all naked in front of my class, it's the least I can do.

Follow Through

Well, I did it. I made it to the gym tonight. All it did was remind me how much I actually love it, and that I need to stay consistant. Let's hope this begins a very long trend.

Also, I got enrolled in school today. I can't believe it. It's so weird to be starting over. Aside from the parents that came along to chaperone their kids, I was definately the oldest guy in the class. I was also the on veteran though, which probably earned me some "street cred" with the instructor. So unless something crazy happens, I am a full time student for the next two years, and ultimately I'll be a firefighter/paramedic when it's all over with.

Humor in Humility

Last night something interesting happened in class. The lesson was on things you can do in an argument to hurt the other person, or unfair methods of fighting. Todd was talking about the idea of violating confidence. He was trying to explain that violating confidence is when someone has revealed something to you and you use that against them. "This could be something you told them, or they told you when you were vulnerable. Like some deep dark secret, or something totally humiliating." When he said this, like three guys in the room cracked up. I was sitting there thinking, "uh oh." These guys couldn't stifle their laughter just hearing the word "humiliating." I sat there for the rest of the class wondering what demented images went flashing through their minds at the mere mention of humiliation. In my head it was just the entire Jackass movie in one millisecond. Let's hope it was that innocent.

BFL- eleventh week
I have been doing good on my workouts, but my diet has really been off. I am having a hard time getting motivated to prepare my meals in advance, which has always been my problem. It's needless to say that my 12 Week pictures aren't going to be as good as I'd hoped. I am still going to take them, and try to stay motivated for the next challenge. This weekend, I am going to go grocery shopping and prepare some good food for the rest of the week. Also, I am going to start doing my food journal. When I abandoned that, it was easier to slack off on everything else.

4 Week Progress Pics

This is what I looked like on April 19th.

I went from 232 lbs. to 214 lbs.

Here's me from the side. Getting a little less "thick" which is often a conveinent word for me to excuse myself for being fat.

Alright, and here's the pic I was sort of dreading. My back progress over four weeks. Still got that nasty band of fat, but it's getting smaller and I was really happy with my progress over the four weeks.


Alright, so that was four weeks. The only thing I changed after this four weeks, was that I moved my meals back a little so that my late afternoon meal (Myoplex shake) came less than an hour before my workout and then I immediately have another shake after my lifting workouts. I don't know if it's psychosomatic but I really felt stronger.

Beginning of BFL

This is what I looked like back on March 24th.

This Back shot is the one that really made me go "whoa, I need to do something about this."


So even during the time when these pictures were taken, I thought of myself as "in shape." I worked out semi-regularly, I did some martial arts and stuff, I thought my diet was pretty good. I couldn't believe what these pics showed me.
Backfat, moobs, tube arms; I look like a loser. It's time for a change.